


Till the End of the Line

by PrairieFarmGirl



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Lifeguards, Necklaces, Summer Camp, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:20:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23687569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrairieFarmGirl/pseuds/PrairieFarmGirl
Summary: Modern AU:  Jamie and Claire meet at a summer resort job.  They build a friendship before heading off to university.  The kicker?  Claire has a boyfriend.  Frank (insert dramatic disgusted sighs here).  Frank is a tool of the highest order.  Jamie sees it.  Claire does not.  Yet….
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Frank Randall, Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Comments: 12
Kudos: 106





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was part of the Mood Board Challenge. Y’all, I tried SO hard to make this a one-shot. I wrote. I deleted. I re-wrote. I cursed. I deleted. It just wasn’t having it. This is a chapter story. I also made several things fit my story. The loch in my story does exist. There is no resort. Scottish summers are probably not as warm as my summers here in the US, but I am making it warm to fit my story.

From the moment I saw her, I knew this one was worth the broken heart. **  
**

Jamie’s jaw dropped when he saw her. Ian reached over and nudged his jaw closed, “Ye’ll catch a mouth full of midges if ye keep that up, mate.” 

Jamie blinked and looked at Ian. “Do ye suppose she’s the new lifeguard, then? 

“Weel, it would seem that way, ya big gob. She’s wearing a swimsuit that says…ye ken…LIFEGUARD.”

“Shut up ya wanker.”

Ian laughed. “Weel, go say hello to her, then. Just don’t look like a numpty doing it. I’m due back to the big house to caddie for Mr. Campbell.” Ian shoved him in her direction and walked off, smirking back at Jamie.

Jamie and Ian had scored a great summer job after graduation, working at Loch Earn Resort. They would live on the resort grounds and get paid to do what they loved. Ian loved golf, so being a caddie was perfect for him. Jamie was one of two lifeguards at the “beach”, which was really an enclosed portion of the loch. The current was almost non-existent there and the drop off was very gradual. They were hoping to earn enough wages to help with some expenses while they were at uni. Both planned to attend the University of Glasgow. Jamie, being raised on a farm, planned to be a veterinarian. Working with animals and being outside made him happy.

Jamie walked up the hill to where the new girl stood. He held out his hand and said, “Hi. I’m Jamie Fraser. I’ll be working with ye, it seems.”

She took his hand and shook it. “Claire Beauchamp. It’s nice to meet you.”

“A Sassenach amongst us!”

“What? Sassenach? Isn’t that a derogatory term?”

“Nae a derogatory term…or at least I don’t mean it that way. It means Englishman, or outsider. Which, ye are…English.”

“I see. So, I guess we’ll work together everyday, then? They say that they always have 2 lifeguards on duty together and we are the only two they have.”

“It seems so. I will take the first duty on the shore line, then if ye want to take the chair.”

“Alright.”

Jamie opened the gate for the first time of the summer season to the swim beach and let the excited swimmers inside, checked to see that Claire was situated in her chair and he turned to walk along the shore and out onto the dock. He couldn’t help glancing up at her every now and then to look at her. She had the longest legs he’d ever seen and if he were completely honest, he was more than a little infatuated with her round arse. 

He was trying hard not to watch her slather sunblock on her legs when he was splashed by a kid who did a running cannonball jump into the water. Glancing back at Claire, he saw the smirk on her face, so he knew she saw it. Feckin’ kids.

**********

Each day went on much the same as the first and soon, Jamie and Claire became nearly inseparable. They worked together, they ate meals together, they spent their off time together. Jamie spent a lot of time doing anything and everything to please and impress Claire. Claire spent a lot of time teasing and flirting with him, encouraging him to fall head over heels for her.

Ian called it an “obsession”. He probably wasn’t too far from the truth.

One evening, they found themselves down by the loch sharing the hammock and gazing at the landscape, occasionally spotting a wild animal coming out of the tree line to drink at the water’s edge on the far side of the loch. 

“You know I have a boyfriend, right?”

Jamie blinked. “Nae, actually I didn’t. Ye never mentioned one.”

“His name is Frank. He’s already at uni in Oxford, studying to be a history professor.” 

Jamie nodded slowly, trying not to show his disappointment. 

“Do you have a girlfriend, then?”

“Naw. I’ve had a few before graduation, but we went our separate ways. No one that I had a real connection with.” He left out the part where his brain added “like ye”. 

“I’m not really sure if Frank and I have a connection, either, to be honest. We are complete opposites, really. I like to have fun, go to parties. Frank likes to read. He’s not into the party scene.”

“Ah, sae a nerd then.”

Claire laughed and smacked his arm. “No. Not a nerd. He’s just incredibly smart and…well, mature, I guess.”

“Sae, if ye have nothing in common, why do ye stay with him then?”

“I dunno. I like him. He’s interesting to talk to. He’s older, so he knows how to…er…well. Never mind that.”

Jamie’s heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to know exactly what Frank knew about.

“Never mind what?”

“Nothing.”

“Nae, ye started it. What does he know all about, Sassenach?”

Claire sighed. “Well, if you must know, he knows how to treat a girl. Make her feel nice, you know?

“Oh. That, huh?” 

Claire nodded. “So, have you…” she started then thought better of it. “Forget I asked that. It’s not my business.”

Jamie knew exactly what she was asking. He knew this conversation was heading into dangerous territory, especially given the way that he felt about her and that she was “off limits”. 

“It’s alright. I have. Not much, mind ye. But a couple times. Ian always likes to push my buttons and tell me I need more practice.”

Claire laughed. “And how would Ian know anything at all about that, hmmm?”

Jamie grinned, “Nothing at all. He’s an eejit. And he also dates my older sister, Jenny.”

“Oh. Awkwaaaaard…”

“Uh-huh. I dinnae want to hear about all the things he knows because then I’ll know he did that with my sister. Yewwww.”

Claire nudged him and held out her water bottle that held (smuggled in) whisky to him. “Here’s some brain bleach for you.”

Jamie took the bottle and took a healthy drink from it, passing it back to Claire. 

“Can I ask you a rather personal question, Jamie?”

“Sure.”

Claire hesitated and then, “I always wondered if I’m doing things the way he’d like.”

“What do ye mean?” 

Claire was quiet for a bit. Jamie should’ve heeded the red flags popping up, but he didn’t. He’d never talked about sex with a girl before. In fact, he’d only ever really talked about sex with Ian (before he dated Jenny, of course). 

“Well, he doesn’t seem…oh, I dunno…as keen about it as I do. I just wonder if I’m not doing something right. At the…er…end, he “finishes” and such, but I um…”

Jamie finished for her, “You don’t finish?”

It was dusk, but not dark enough that Jamie couldn’t see the bright red creeping up her face. 

“No,” she whispered.

“Have ye ever finished? On yer own? Ye ken?”

She looked sharply at him, her face beet red. He could see it in her eyes. She didn’t want to admit it out loud, but she had. He would think about that image later. Much later. When she wasn’t laying right beside him. 

“Ye have, then.”

She looked down at their bare feet dangling off the side of the hammock. “Yeah. Is that bad? I mean, I’m not a pervert. Just sometimes, you know, I wake up at night from a dream and I just…have to.”

“Naw. Everyone does it. It isnae wrong.”

She blurted out, “You do it, too?” And then, “God! Never mind that! I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Sassenach, all guys do it. Seriously. If they tell ye they dinnae, they’re lying.”

“Oh.” 

“It’s natural. Nothin’ ta be ashamed of. Better than burnin’, I say. And safer than worrying about messing up and getting a girl pregnant.”

“Frank made me start taking birth control pills. He doesn’t like condoms.”

This Frank sounded like a complete tool, but he didn’t know if he should really tell her that. 

“Claire, I dinnae think ye’re doing anything wrong, especially if he’s finishing. On the other hand, if he’s not helping ye to finish, then, weel, I think he’s not doing right by ye.”

“Really? He led me to believe I might have been at fault. I just…”

“Claire. Look at me.”

Jamie turned sideways in the hammock and waited while Claire turned to face him, not an easy feat in a hammock. He dared to touch her cheek to wipe a small tear away. He’d never touched her before and it led him to catch his breath. She was so small, but so beautiful. 

“I suspect that we are both new to this. Da, in one of his totally embarrassing sex talks, once told me that things like this are often not that great at first. But with time and practice, they improve. And when it’s with someone ye love, it’s even better. But it’s an act that takes two. Ye are taking way too much blame on yerself.”

Her eyes, full of tears that hadn’t yet spilled over, reflected the moonlight and he just couldn’t stop himself. “Ye are sae beautiful, Claire.”

His forehead touched hers and their noses touched. She blinked and the tears washed down her face and onto his own. Reaching for her hand, he gathered up what little courage he had and asked, “I’d like very much to kiss ye. May I?”

Claire’s breathing quickened, her tears forgotten. It was the barest of nods, but he felt it. He nuzzled her nose with his own once, then twice. Their eyes met and he leaned in to gently kiss her lips. He could no more control the nearly instantaneous reaction his body had than the need to breathe. He pulled away and took a breath. She leaned in and kissed him, this time harder. Her mouth opened slightly and he followed her lead, his tongue barely caressing her lower lip. They both sharply inhaled and before they knew it, they were consuming each other. Limbs tangling together. Jamie carefully angled his hips away from her so she wouldn’t know just exactly how badly he wanted her. His erection was nearly painful in his shorts. 

As she pulled away, he noticed how glazed over her hooded eyes were with lust. What he wouldn’t give to touch her and go further, but he suspected that they shouldn’t. 

Claire whispered, “We should probably go back. Lights out will be called soon.”

Jamie knew there was no way in hell that he’d be presentable to walk in to the staff quarters. He shook his head. “Go ahead. I’ll be there soon. I’m going to take a quick swim before I come in.”

Claire started, “But it’s dark, why…oh.” Her eyes glanced in the general direction of his lap, which he had covered with his arm. 

“Yeah. Oh,” he said wryly.

She swung gracefully out of the hammock and said, “Alright. Well. Goodnight, Jamie.”

“Goodnight, Sassenach.”

As soon as she was gone, he swung out of the hammock (less than gracefully) and jumped in the cool waters of the loch. 

Burn indeed, he thought, inwardly shaking his head. He suspected that a cold dousing was not going to help him out of this fix. 

It was going to be a long night.

**********

As the days passed, they continued to get to know each other and become close friends. Not many topics were off limits in their conversations. Jamie had even gotten comfortable enough to tell Claire that Frank was indeed a right git. He tried to demonstrate how a man should treat a woman. He treated her with respect. He held doors open for her. He asked her opinion on things. He brought her flowers that he had picked in the forest around the loch. He held her when she cried because Frank rowed with her on FaceTime. All the while, he held back his true feelings for her, not wanting to push her. 

He couldn’t even begin to count the number of times that he jumped into the water to hide his growing erection because he saw her nipples harden beneath her swimsuit when she got out of the water on a cool day. He dreamt often of those hard nubs at night, leaving him no choice but to relieve himself in his room at night when he was alone. 

One day, he had gone for a walk in the forest, just off the shore of the loch. Claire was nowhere to be found so he set off on his own. He was just entering a dense portion of the woods when he heard a sound so soft he almost missed it. Stopping behind a tree, he quietly looked around and what he found nearly brought him to his knees. 

Claire was sitting up against a tree. She was completely covered, but her right hand was down her shorts between her legs, her hips moving, her left hand covering her breast, thumbing her nipple. She wasn’t as lucky as he was. She shared a room with another girl, so privacy for her was at a minimum. He almost left, but he was so afraid he’d be seen. Instead, he watched. She was in the throes of ecstasy, with her head thrown back. She took his breath away. As he watched her, his hand palmed his erection. He knew it was wrong, but at that particular moment he didn’t care. He pulled his cock out of his shorts and fisted himself. Once, twice, three times. That’s all it took. She gave out a strangled cry as she came and he came with her. Before she came back to her senses, he quickly situated his clothes and left the way he came.

**********

In their last week together, they talked of their plans for the year. He was headed to uni in Edinburgh, she was attending the University of Glasgow. She wanted to be a doctor, he a vet. They both shared their excitement and fears of the unknown and what lay ahead. They talked about their apartments and their eagerness to be “on their own”. 

What they didn’t talk about was Frank. Or their growing feelings for each other. 

On their last day, Jamie asked Claire to go walk with him. They walked down by the shoreline, Jamie stopping occasionally to skip a rock across the water. As they reached the end of the property where they would turn around, Jamie took Claire’s hand and asked her to wait. 

She looked at him with questioning eyes. 

“Claire, I…I…I’m going to miss ye. I wonder if ye’d consider keeping in touch after we leave here?”

“Of course! I love our talks. I couldn’t do without you, I fear. You keep me sane. You help me figure out all this…stuff…with Frank. You’re truly my best friend.”

Jamie wondered what she would think if he told her the truth. That he wanted to be more than that to her. That he wanted to be in a relationship with her. That he thought he might even love her. 

But he didn’t. Instead, he said, “I have a gift for ye,” and handed her a small box. She opened it up and drew out two matching necklaces. She looked at them, reading “Till the End” on one and “Of the Line” on the other. 

“I was trying to think of something to get you to remember me by. I found these and I thought maybe ye would like to wear one and I wear the other. Ye’re my best friend, too. Of course, if ye don’t think Frank would want you to wear it, I can return them.”

Claire interrupted, “No! No I don’t want you to return them.” She took out the necklace that read “Till the End” and put it around her neck, then placed the other around his neck. “They are perfect, Jamie. I’ll wear mine every day.”

And she hugged him. 

“We can FaceTime. Every day. Maybe we can even get together over breaks.” 

“Alright. Will that make Frank upset with ye?”

“I don’t care. He has his friends. I can have mine.”

She took his hand and they walked back to the resort one last time. When they got there, they packed their things. Jamie helped Claire load her car. When it was time for her to go, he stood by her car door and swallowed hard. Christ, he would miss her. 

Claire made the first move. She hugged him hard and kissed him on the cheek. “I will miss you Jamie Fraser.”

“And I will miss ye, Claire Beauchamp.” He took her portion of the necklace he gave her and kissed it. Then kissed her gently on the lips. Not the cheek. 

“Don’t forget me, Jamie.”

“Never.”

And he watched her drive away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our poor wee Jamie. We left off with Claire driving away out of his life. They are now settling in to life at uni and this is where we begin our story.

**_Glasgow_   
**

Jamie had settled in to his dorm room and was enjoying life at university. He was doing well with his studies and got on well with his professors. He had made several new friends and even scored a place on the rugby team. 

His phone buzzed letting him know he had a FaceTime call coming in from Claire. Right on time. They always FaceTimed at 4:00 when they both had free time. 

When Claire’s face appeared on his screen, he immediately knew something was wrong. She always had a glass face.

“What happened, Claire?”

“What? Nothing!”

“Sassenach, ye ken ye cannae hide anything. Yer face gives it away every time. Now talk to me. What is it?”

Claire sighed. “It’s Frank. I think he might be cheating on me. He swears he’s not, but Geillis said she saw him in a pub hanging onto a girl and snogging with her. Geillie wouldn’t say that she was 100% sure it was him, given that it was crowded and dark. Frank said she was mistaken. I don’t know who to believe.”

Jamie shook his head and grimaced. 

“What does Frank say about it all?” 

“He claimed he was at the library with his research group. He even had one of his buddies vouch for him.”

“Do ye believe him, then?”

“I think I do. I mean, Geillie could’ve been mistaken. I am just overthinking it all again, I suppose.” Claire rubbed both hands up and down her face, looking miserable.

“Claire, I dinnae know what really happened, but this isn’t the first time he’s given ye cause to worry. Ye should…,” Jamie paused and sighed. “Never mind.”

“What?”

“Listen, our break is coming up. Why don’t ye come over to Glasgow and we can hang out. It will get yer mind off things. You can go with me to the Rugby party this weekend.”

“I dunno, Jamie. I really should study during break.”

“Bring it with ye. We can study together. Come on!”

“Jamie…”

“SASSENACH! Get yer stuff packed and get in yer car. I’ll see ye in a couple hours. 

And Jamie disconnected.

She’d come. He knew it.

**********

Jamie was working on finishing up his homework when there was a soft knock at the door.

His heart jumped in his chest. Christ, he hoped it was Claire! He all but knocked over his chair when he bounded to the door.

It was her. She looked wonderful. He grabbed her inside, shut the door and took her bags. Sitting them down out of the way, he turned back to her to see a wee tear tracking its way down her cheek. 

“Aw, Claire. Come here.”

He took her in his arms, holding her tight as she let it all out. He wanted to make her see that she deserved better. He wanted to kick Frank in the balls. Then shoot him. He wanted Claire for himself. 

He leaned over and reached for a handful of tissues and blotted her face dry. He handed her a few more and told her to “blow”. 

She nervously giggled and did as she was told. “I am so sorry, Jamie. I didn’t mean to break down like this in front of you.”

He took her by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes. Those whisky-hued eyes would be the death of him. 

“Ye are my best friend. Who best to come to when ye need to pour out yer heart?” He slightly shook her shoulders, making her eyes look at him. “I will ALWAYS be here for ye. I am yer safe place.”

He brought her close and gently kissed her on the forehead.

“Now. Dry those tears, Sassenach, and let’s go do something that will put a smile back on yer face and help ye to forget all yer troubles. Have ye eaten, then?”

“Yes. I grabbed a sandwich on the way. Truthfully, I’m not very hungry.”

“Okay. Then, how about we go to the pub and have a wee dram. Ye can use it.”

**********

Jamie led Claire to a seat near the back of the pub that was quiet and ordered them each a whisky. He brought them back to Claire and sat beside her. 

“It’s so good to see ye, Claire. I missed ye, ye know.”

“And I missed you, too.” 

“So, I’ll give what’s-his-name exactly 5 minutes of our time together. What happened? Talk to me.”

“I confronted Frank before I came here. He was rather…er…mad at me for doubting him. We had a terrible row. I told him I was coming here for a few days. He then accused me of cheating on him! The absolute nerve of him! I threw all my stuff together and walked out the door.”

Jamie felt the anger surge through him. What he wouldn’t give for just five minutes in a room with Frank! 

He slid his arm around her and drew her close. “Sassenach, he isn’t worth one more second of yer worries. Forget about him. Now, here’s to forgetting. Slainte!”

He raised his glass and clinked it against her’s. 

“Now give me a smile. I dinnae want to see yer face all scrunched up that way. Mrs. Fitz wouldn’t thank ye to scare away all her customers.”

Claire grinned and leaned her head on Jamie’s shoulder. 

“You really are my best friend, Jamie. I do feel better.”

**********

After drinking entirely too much whisky, they both walked back to Jamie’s room, hand-in-hand and laughing. 

“Jamie, remember when we would sit in the hammock in the evenings? And all those dragonflies that used to swarm around us? Well, every time I see one now, I think of you. It’s like you’re there with me, you know, when I see one. Is that a silly thing? I don’t feel quite so lonely then.”

“Nae, not at all. I think of ye, too, when I see them.”

Walking in silence for a bit, they passed a neon-lit shop advertising tattoos. Claire stopped dead in her tracks. 

“Have you ever thought of getting a tattoo?”

“Weel, no’ really. I’m no’ a big fan of the wee needles, ye ken.”

“Let’s get one. You and me. We can get a dragonfly!”

“Er, Claire, I dinnae ken if that’s…”

“Come on! Don’t be a ninny! Let’s go!”

And she dragged him in the door.

**********

Both walked out an hour later, each with a small dragonfly on their upper arm. Jamie convinced Claire to stick with a small, simple design. He never saw himself getting a tattoo, but afterwards, he didn’t think it was nearly as bad as he might have imagined…given his dislike for needles. 

“So. What do we do now?”

Jamie pondered that. It was getting late and they probably should be getting back. “How about we go back to my room, get some popcorn and watch Netflix?”

“Oh. You mean like Netflix and chill? Or….”

“Do ye even know what ‘Netflix and chill’ means, Sassenach?” 

“Well, it means to hang out and watch a movie. Right?”

“Uh…noooo. Ye dinnae ken!” Jamie hooted. 

“Well, if you’re so smart, Einstein, what does it mean?”

“Claire, it’s a euphemism for having sex.”

“Wot?!? No, it doesn’t! You’re pulling my leg.”

“Nae, I’m no’ at all,” Jamie replied. “I’m serious.” 

“Oh. OH! Gah!!! No wonder Geillie laughed so hard at me she choked!” Claire covered her reddening, embarrassed cheeks. “I didn’t want to go out a few weeks ago and told her that we should just stay at the dorm and…”

Jamie snorted. He saw it coming. “Netflix and chill.”

Claire sighed. “Yeah.”

He tried. He really did. He sputtered and tried to get control of himself. She looked at him with wide eyes and he just couldn’t. He exploded in laughter. Each time he looked at her, wiping tears off his face, her smile got wider. Soon, they were both bent over laughing hysterically, barely able to breathe and leaning on each other for support.

They leaned up against a building, gasping for air and found themselves wrapped in a hug. As they settled down, he pulled back, looking at her. 

Her smile slowly faded, as did his. His eyes were drawn to her lips. Resistance was futile and he thought to himself, “ _Fuck it_.”

He kissed her. 

It was a soft, gentle kiss. But not for long. 

He wrapped his arm around her and brought her closer to him, drawing her in so that he could deepen the kiss. His tongue eased out and tentatively touched her lips. She opened wider, angling her mouth. Jamie was lost. Absolutely without a doubt. He wanted her more than life.

He groaned and poured himself into the kiss. Slowly he backed her up against the building and leaned into her, heart pounding, electricity flowing through his veins. He never wanted to move from this spot. 

They were startled apart when a car sped by, full of students yelling out the window. 

“OY! GET A ROOM!”

Jamie let out a nervous laugh and held out a hand to Claire. 

“Come on. Let’s go back.”

**********

Back in Jamie’s room, Claire popped some popcorn while Jamie found a movie for them to watch. They snuggled up together side-by-side on Jamie’s bed. Before they even realized it, they had both drifted off to sleep.

At dawn, Jamie roused. He and Claire were spooned together, with his arm over her waist and his hand snaked up between her breasts. Her arse was snuggled tight up against his raging erection. 

Jamie couldn’t think of any place that he’d rather be. And he couldn’t think of any way to extract himself out of the spot without waking Claire. If she woke up, she’d definitely feel what was wedged between them. Christ.

No sooner had he thought of a plan, than she roused. She snuggled tighter back into him, her arse wiggling so that his cock twitched. He wanted more than life itself to push back against her but he was frozen. 

She stilled, finally realizing where she was at. And what was wedged between them. 

She bounded out of bed and stared wide-eyed at Jamie. 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

“Sassenach. Nae! Ye didna do anything. It’s alright.”

After a very awkward pause, Jamie finally said, “I’ll just go take a shower, if ye don’t mind me going first.”

A very cold shower indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter begins with a 2 year time jump. Claire is still with Frank, Frank is full-on jealous of Jamie. Jamie wants Claire (still) and Claire chooses to put it all on ignore. After this chapter, though, our babies will have a discussion that changes a lot of things for them.

**_Two years later in Glasgow  
_ **

Jamie and Claire continued on, talking daily and meeting up when their breaks matched up. As they progressed through university, it got more difficult to continue. Frank also became more difficult and proved to be a major roadblock that Jamie couldn’t get past.

Frank was jealous of the friendship Jamie and Claire shared. Jamie suspected that Frank prevented Claire from coming to Glasgow during the last break, although Claire vehemently denied it, blaming it on her demanding schedule. After her trip to Glasgow in their first year, Frank exploded when he saw Claire’s tattoo. Jamie was sure it would cause them to break up.

It didn’t. 

In fact, all it did was make Claire dig in her heels and commit more fully to Frank. She told Frank that their tattoos were the result of a drunken night; they were meaningless. Jamie knew better. It had also made Claire even more skittish around him. She made sure that they were never in a situation again where they would kiss. The more she pulled away, the more Jamie wanted her. He was like a moth to a flame. 

As time passed, Jamie tried to move on and date other girls. Both Annalise and Mary were amenable to a relationship, but Jamie just didn’t have it in him. He kept comparing them to Claire. He was in deep and he well knew it. He ended things with both of them, claiming that he was just too busy for a relationship (which was true). 

Truthfully, he didn’t think it was fair to lead them on when his heart wasn’t in it. He just lacked the courage to tell them that. 

He also lacked the courage to tell Claire of his growing feelings for her. He tried several times, but just as quickly as he would work up the nerve, he’d back out. He didn’t think he could take the rejection if she didn’t return his feelings. In fact, he knew he couldn’t. 

And that brought him to a text he got from Geillis today.

> _G: Hey! You’ll never ken who is in Glasgow today._
> 
> _J: Who? Claire?_
> 
> _G: Nooooo. Frank!_
> 
> _J: And why would I care about that exactly?_
> 
> _G: Because he told Claire he was going there for a conference. I just heard from a friend of a friend that he lied to Claire (again). Rumor has it he is there seeing a woman named Sandy. I thought he was cheating on Claire again, so I did some nosing around._
> 
> _J: Are you sure about that? That would devastate Claire, you know._
> 
> _G: I *do* know. I was hoping we could provide proof that he’s cheating so Claire will finally break up with the wee idiot._
> 
> _J: And by this “we” you speak of, you really mean “me”._
> 
> _G: Well, yeah._
> 
> _J: And you want me to go to this place and spy on him?_
> 
> _G: You catch on quick!_
> 
> _J: …_
> 
> _G: Jamieeeeee. Come on! We both know Frank is a right git. Our Claire needs to get the hell away from him before it’s too late._
> 
> _J: What do you mean “too late”????_
> 
> _G: They are talking about getting married._
> 
> _J: What the actual fuck?!_
> 
> _G: I overheard them last week. He’s pushing her for it. She wants to wait until she’s done with school. I’ll send you the addy of where he’s having his shag fest._

Jamie threw his phone on the bed. 

He’d be damned if he’d let that happen. 

**********

Jamie went to a coffee shop across the street from the hotel that Frank was staying at. He sat with a clear view of the door where he could see all the comings and goings. It wasn’t long before he saw Frank come out of the hotel, snogging with a blonde. 

Jamie took pictures.

He held Claire’s heart in his hands. He realized this could destroy her.

He called Geillis.

**********

Jamie was startled awake by someone pounding on his door. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes. It was nearly 2:00 in the morning. 

He threw off the covers, put on a pair of sweatpants and ran to the door.

His heart leapt into his throat when he saw Claire there, her face red and tear-stained. 

“Jamie, can I…can I stay?”

“Claire! Of course ye can stay! What happened?”

He pulled Claire inside and sat her down the couch, throwing a plaid around her chilled shoulders and got the tissue box. 

“Tell me.”

Claire reached for the tissue box and blew her nose. “Geillis told me tonight that Frank was seen here in town. She showed me this picture.” Claire handed Jamie her phone. “He told me he was going to Glasgow for a conference. But this sure doesn’t look like a conference to me!”

“Claire, I don’t know what to say. I’m sae sorry.”

“He swore to me that he wasn’t cheating on me, Jamie. I fucking believed him! I am so damned stupid.”

He took Claire by the shoulders. “Claire! Ye aren’t stupid! Dinnae talk this way.”

“I decided to come here and prove Geillie wrong. I was just so sure that I would find him doing exactly what he was supposed to be doing and I was going to go right back to Edinburgh and tell Geillie to mind her own bloody business next time. So I went to the hotel, went to the counter and asked for Frank’s room. I told them I was his wife so they let me go right on up. I walked in on them in bed together.”

“Christ, Sassenach! What did he do?”

“He had the nerve to yell at me for not trusting him. He tried to make this all MY fault. MY FAULT!” 

Jamie knew that he needed to get Claire to settle down. He pulled her into his arms and she began to cry in earnest, again.

“ _Mo nighean donn_ …please…dinnae cry.” He gently rocked her and held her tightly.

She cried until she had no more tears left. He held her until she quit, hiccuping as her lungs tried to fill with air. 

He held her as she went deathly quiet. 

He held her as she cursed Frank and all he stood for. 

He held her as she cried again.

He held her. 

**********

“Claire, I’m wet. And I think I have snot on my chest. Let me go get a quick shower. Ye need to get some sleep. Ye’re exhausted.”

She reluctantly pulled away from him and wiped her eyes and nose. 

“Will ye be okay? I’ll only be a minute.”

“Yeah. Go. Sorry about getting snot all over you.”

“Dinnae fash. Be right back.”

Jamie grabbed clean clothes to change into and quickly got in the shower. He had just finished soaping up and was rinsing off when he felt a rush of cold air. Claire had opened the shower door and was standing before him naked.

He dropped the soap he held.

“Claire! What are ye doin’?”

She didn’t say a word, but looked at him with burning eyes. She stepped into the shower and shut the door. 

Jamie stood there motionless, his chest heaving for air, his heart beating right out of his chest. He’d never seen her naked. In all his dreams, he never pictured her this perfect. 

She reached for his hands and held them up against the wall of the shower. She took one more step and she stood flush against him. His body reacted like it had been shot through with lightning. All hope for good sense fled as her breasts touched his chest and her hips pressed against him. 

“Don’t think, Jamie. Kiss me. Make me feel again.”

God help him. He did. 

He kissed her with all the longing that he had felt for more than two years. He kissed her like he dreamed of each time he closed his eyes. He kissed her to show her that she was worthy of the love that he felt for her. He kissed her to make her feel his love. 

He released one hand and reached between them to run his hand over her breasts, teasing the nipples until they were hard buttons. She gasped and he ran his tongue along her lips. She met his tongue. They tangled and danced together, mating tongues in time with their hips. 

Claire released him and bent over to pick up the soap. She lathered her hands and ran them along his chest, shoulders and arms. She ran them behind his back and down onto his arse. She squeezed and he moaned. 

Lathering her hands again, she reached between them and took his cock between both her hands. He ground out, “Claire!” and bucked his hips toward her. She ran her hand down between his legs, rolling, gently squeezing. 

He nearly lost it right then and there. This was all he’d ever dreamed of and more.

Taking control, he backed away from her hands and took the soap. He ran his lathered hands along her arms, around her back, and down to her stomach, skirting her breasts. Soaping his hands again, he ran his hands up and down both legs, still avoiding what she wanted most from him. He turned her around and pulled her back to him as he reached under her arms to cup her breasts. He thumbed her nipples until she was wiggling and gasping, her lovely, round arse pushing against his aching cock. She reached up and took one of his hands and guided it down between her legs. He slid his lathered hand between her thighs and rubbed. She ground against his hand, causing her to slide her arse against his cock. At this rate, he’d explode right here and now.

She let out a soft keening sound and a gasp when he slid his finger into her. Her hand snaked around and took his cock in hand again, firmly moving up and down. 

Just when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore, she turned around, pulled him to her and leaning her back to the wall, she lifted her leg to his hip.

“Please. Now. I need you now.”

“Are ye sure? Claire, we dinnae need tae…”

“Now. And don’t be gentle.”

Jamie thought he might regret this later, but his self-control was gone. He needed her, too. But he needed her for different reasons. He needed her like he needed air. He knew she was using him, but at this very moment he couldn’t find it in him to care.

He bent over and hooked his hands behind her knees, lifting her up. She reached between them and guided him home. She was so tight, squeezing him that it nearly brought him to his knees. He pinioned her to the wall and filled her to the hilt. They both let out deep groans and began to move. 

“Look at me Claire. Open yer eyes and look at me.”

She did. He nearly drowned in their whiskey depths. 

“I want to see ye as I take ye. I want to watch ye come apart in my arms.”

His words spurred her on and they moved faster, harder. 

“Jamie, I’m going to…”

“Do it, Sassenach. Come with me. Now!”

They watched each other as they spiraled out of control and fell apart with a shout. 

They held tight to each other, as their bodies spasmed and their breathing slowly returned to normal. Jamie slowly lowered her legs to the floor, holding her close in case her legs gave way. When he was sure she could stand, he cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her gently. He told her everything she needed to know with the gentleness of his kiss. 

He smoothed the wet hair from her face and kissed her once again. 

The water was cooling down, so he turned off the shower and grabbed a towel. He dried her off, then dried himself and carried her to his bed. He laid her down and crawled in beside her and held her close. 

“Are ye okay?”

Claire looked at him and nodded. She whispered, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For making me feel again.”

“What do ye feel?”

“I don’t really know. Confusion. Maybe a little guilt. Anger. But also, I feel safe and content here. How do you feel?”

“I think ye know, Sassenach.”

“What do you mean?”

He looked at her, trying to decide if he should tell her. He loved her…he couldn’t deny it any longer. He cupped her cheek and kissed her again. His eyes showed her everything she needed to know in the depths of his soul.

“Don’t say it, Jamie. We’ll talk in the morning.”

So he didn’t. But that didn’t keep him from showing her twice more before morning. After the last time, he held her close and they slept spooned together. 

For him, there was no going back. He was going to fight for her. And then he was going to tell her when she was his. 

Game on Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp. Game on.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our story left off with Jamie and Claire finally giving in to temptation and spending the night together, with Claire promising that they would talk in the morning. So now, it’s morning. And Jamie’s ready to talk.
> 
> This chapter is all kinds of angsty. But, y’all, stick with me. I promise it will be worth it.

_**Glasgow, the next morning** _

Jamie was fixing breakfast the next morning, thinking of Claire and what they shared last night, when he heard scratching at his door. When he opened the door, looking left and then right, he saw nothing. He was about to close the door, when he felt something slink across his bare foot and rub up against his ankle, followed closely by another who beckoned to him with a tiny meow. 

Two small, fluffy kittens were winding around his ankles…one gray and one copper. He couldn’t resist sitting on the floor and picking them both up to nuzzle them. Growing up on a farm, he loved all animals. To his practiced eye, they appeared to be a bit malnourished, but otherwise healthy. Standing up, he got out a bit of cream and an old bowl and set it on the floor where the wee cheeties began to lap up every single bit of cream. 

When Claire walked in, she found Jamie on the floor playing with the kittens, who were purring and completely under his spell.

“I didn’t know you had kittens.”

“I don’t. These two wee cheeties just showed up at my door ten minutes ago. They don’t appear to belong to anyone. They needed food, so I fed them a wee bit of cream.”

Claire plopped down on the floor beside him and picked up the copper kitten, who purred loudly and rubbed under Claire’s chin, causing her to chuckle. “Are you going to keep them?”

“I suppose I will. I cannae verra weel let them out to run with no one to care for them.

Claire smiled and scratched the kitten behind the ears. “I think this one looks like the color of a penny. Is it a girl or a boy?”

Jamie took the kitten from her and inspected it’s hind quarters. “This one is a wee lass.”

Claire took back the kitten. “I think she looks like a Penny, don’t you?”

“I think that’s a good name for her.” He inspected the gray kitten he held. “This one is a lad. I’m thinking Adso for him.”

“Adso? That’s an unusual name.”

“My mam used to have a gray cheetie that looked like this one. She called him Adso.”

“Ahh. I see. So Penny and Adso it is.”

“I suppose I’ll need to venture out to get them some proper food and a litter box soon. Would ye care to go along with me?”

“Actually, Jamie, I was thinking I need to head back to Edinburgh.”

“So soon? Ye said last night that we would talk.”

“Well, I did. But I also just talked to Frank. He wants to discuss things before I make up my mind permanently.”

“What? Claire! Ye shouldnae give him the time of day, after what he did to ye!”

“I know, I know. I just feel like I should at least hear him out, you know? I really don’t know what to do right now.”

“Claire, about last night, I dinnae want ye to feel that I was pressuring ye or anything. I just…I just…ye’re my best friend and I dinnae want to see ye hurt is all.”

“I know, Jamie. It was mostly my fault, anyway. I started it all.”

“It takes two, ye ken. I was a most willing participant. All three times.”

Claire nodded, looking miserable.

“Listen,” he said taking her by the hand, “Let’s eat breakfast and then we’ll go see to the kitten supplies. It will give ye time to think things out a bit.”

Claire sighed, rising up from the floor and putting Penny down, who scampered off after a ball of crumpled up aluminum foil. “Alright.”

**********

Watching the kittens play in their litter box, hoping that they would actually *use* it for the intended purpose, Jamie ventured to ask, “So do ye think ye’ll go back to Frank?”

“I don’t know, Jamie. It’s…well, it’s complicated.”

“Weel, I’d say it certainly IS complicated! The arse cheated on ye! Ye deserve better. Ye deserve someone who cherishes ye and would do anything for ye. Ye deserve someone who will spend the rest of his days working to be worthy of ye. Ye deserve someone who can’t even look at another lass but ye.”

“And where would I find a man like that, huh?”

His brain screamed _ME_! He breathed deeply through his nose, trying to get up the nerve. What he wanted to say would change their relationship irrevocably. 

Finally he whispered, “I could be that man.”

Claire was silent. Finally he looked at her and saw tears running down her face. 

“Jamie please don’t make this harder on me! You are my best friend. Please, please don’t do this to us! I want…”

Jamie interrupted her, his voice raising in frustration, “So ye wouldn’t even consider being with me? I would treat ye like a queen, Claire! I would work every single day to deserve yer love. I’d never look at another and would cherish ye for all our days!”

Claire was stunned speechless. She sat there, open-mouthed, tears coursing down her cheeks. He’d never spoken of love to her, much less yelled at her.

“So ye think all I’m good for is someone for ye to come to to help ye pick up the pieces? All I’m good for is a revenge fuck, is that it, Claire? Christ!”

Claire whispered, “Jamie. No!”

Jamie stood up and walked over to her packed bag sitting on the floor by the door. “Claire, if ye need to go talk to bloody fuckin’ Frank, then go! Just go. But dinnae come back here the next time crying that ye found him fucking another girl. Dinnae expect me to just brush all my feelings off to the side the next time that Geillis calls me wanting me to go spy on that piece of shite!”

Claire gasped, “You?! You sent that picture to Geillis? You were the one spying on Frank?”

“Aye! I saw him kissing her on the sidewalk in front of the hotel, Claire! I took that picture and I sent it to Geillis.”

“And I accused Geillis of trying to break us up! All along it was you?! You did this?”

“I did what? Break the two of ye up? I made Frank run off and fuck someone else? Dinnae be accusing me of doing anything wrong!” Jamie was shouting now and things were escalating to a level that he never meant to approach with her. 

Claire suddenly got deadly quiet. She stood up and took her bag from Jamie and started to walk to the door.

“Claire. Wait. I dinnae mean…”

“Oh I think you did, Jamie. At least I know exactly where we stand. I’ll just be off now.”

“Claire, please!”

She opened the door and started to walk out. Jamie ran and grabbed her arm. He whispered, “Claire, I love ye.”

She stopped, facing away from him. He heard a sob come from her.

Two breaths later, she said, “I don’t think we can be friends anymore.”

And she walked out of his life. 

He stood there watching her walk away. He didn’t know how long he was there before the falling rain chilled him enough to send him back inside. He shut the door and walked over to the window. Sitting down on the window ledge, he dropped his head into his hand and cried. 

Adso and Penny jumped up onto the ledge and sat beside him, keeping him company while gazing out the window onto the street below.

Christ. She’d ripped the heart right out of his chest. 

He’d never known a pain like this. 

**********

**_Three months later_ **

Jamie’s phone rang. He had just walked out of his last final exam of the year and was just walking in the door, putting his book bag on the floor. It was Geillis.

“Hello?”

“Jamie, have ye heard from Claire lately?”

“Nae, why should I? She’s no’ speaking to me, as ye well ken.”

“Weel, I didn’t want to assume anything. Anyway, I just thought ye should ken. Claire and Frank are engaged.”

Thanking Geillis for letting him know, he hung up and dropped his phone. Adso and Penny raced to the phone, sniffing it and spinning it around. 

He crumpled up on the floor and cried. Again. 

That’s where Ian, who’d been trying to reach him, found him two hours later.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We were left off with Claire leaving Jamie behind with a broken heart. Stay tuned. She’s going to spill it all and it will finally all make sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I did a wee bit of looking to see how long it took to become a vet. Hopefully Google was close enough.

**_Glasgow, 2 years later_ **

Today was graduation day. Jamie had passed his exams with flying colors, after throwing all his energy into his studies in an effort to move on. To forget about Claire. In his efforts to do that, he had been ignoring any and all calls or texts from Geillis. She tried to reach him several times in the days after Claire left him the last time. She had quit calling about a year ago. 

Ian had shown him an article in the paper announcing Claire and Frank’s engagement nearly 2 years ago. He told Ian he didn’t care anymore. But that wasn’t really the truth. He did care. It hurt him to the core. Ian and Jenny had tried to set him up with girls but he wasn’t ready. Honestly, he just wanted to be left alone. He didn’t want to be hurt again. So he avoided women, too. 

That left just a few things. His studies, whisky, and rugby. He studied until he couldn’t see straight. When his mind wandered, he turned to the whisky. When he’d had too much of that, he threw himself into training and rugby. His goal was to be so exhausted at night that he fell into a dreamless sleep the minute his head hit the pillow. 

He just “existed”. Half, not whole. 

Until today. 

He no longer had his studies to keep him occupied. He no longer played for the university’s rugby team. He was set to begin his vet practice at Lallybroch, where he was sorely needed. His parents, who lived in the big house, had given him a cottage on the property and his father had built him a clinic by the cottage, as a gift. He was finally excited to take this new step in his life. 

As he sat in the crowd awaiting his turn to walk across the stage at graduation, he thought of the new life ahead of him. The things he wanted to do with his new clinic. Creating a new home for himself in the cottage. The things he would hang on his walls. The equipment he’d need to purchase. He was glad to have a purpose in life and doing what he loved most. 

Eventually, the College of Veterinary Medicine graduates were announced. He stood up and walked up to the stage, preparing to cross to the podium where he would receive his diploma. Finally, he was called.

Dr. James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser.

He grinned when he heard that. In the background, he heard his family cheer for him and he looked toward them in the crowd and gave a small wave. He smiled for his Mam as she proudly took photo after photo as he crossed the stage. His Da was beside her beaming full of pride. Jenny and Ian, by them, were cheering loudly. He shook the Dean’s hand and received his diploma. It was now official. Dr. Fraser. For the first time in a long, long time, he smiled a truly happy smile. His Mam was crying happy tears as his Da had his arm around her, trying inconspicuously to wipe a tear leaking from his own eye.

As he returned to his seat, he spotted her in the crowd. He nearly stopped in his tracks. If it hadn’t been for his mate behind him giving him a wee shove, he would’ve stopped and stared. 

He quickly was seated, then turned and craned his neck, searching the crowd for her. From where he sat, he couldn’t see her. Frustrated, he turned back around and waited impatiently for the ceremony to end.

**********

He spotted her on his way out the door. As he handed his things off to his Da, telling him he needed to catch a friend he saw in the crowd, he took off running. 

Looking where he last saw her, he saw the bit of red dress she had been wearing. He ran as fast as he could to catch her, but was continually stopped or slowed by crowds of people standing and socializing, taking pictures. 

But he lost sight of her. He looked left and right. Being tall had its advantages. But even now, he couldn’t see her. 

She was gone. Again. Heaving a sigh, he turned back to his family.

**********

After lunch with his family, they had all returned to their respective homes, having chores to tend to. Jamie was left to pack the rest of his belongings. He was heading home to Lallybroch and his new life. 

Packing away the last of his things, he left the key on the counter for his landlord and left the flat where he had spent the last several years. He locked the door, closed it and left it all behind him.

**********

Driving out of Glasgow, he passed the familiar place where he had spent a summer and met Claire at Loch Earn. On a lark, he pulled off the highway and made his way to the Loch where he and Claire had spent so many evenings sitting in the hammock. He didn’t know what had pulled him there, but decided to finally give in to the memories. He’d be leaving those behind today, too.

Pulling off the road, he turned off the car and searched for the gift that his Da slipped him. It was a very expensive bottle of whisky. He intended to have a wee dram. 

Finding the bottle, he got out of the car and trudged down the path to the hidden hammock. He hadn’t been sure he’d even still find it hanging there, but was pleasantly surprised when he reached the waterfront and found it hanging exactly where he remembered it. 

Gingerly sitting in the hammock, he laid back and crossed his feet, he sighed a heavy sigh as he took in the beauty that surrounded him. He thought back to the time that he had spent here with Claire. He still loved her. That would never go away, he was sure. But he had to let her go. She was likely already a married woman. He had to move on. 

Opening the bottle, he took a drink. Da was right. It was smooth and very, very good. He let it burn down his throat as he swayed gently in the breeze.

Something landed on his upper arm and as he reached to brush it away, he noticed it was a dragonfly. It’s transparent wings shone in the sunlight as it landed on Jamie’s arm. Stilling, Jamie was mesmerized by the beautiful mosaic patterns of the gently fluttering wings, not unlike the windows in a cathedral. It’s body was the sort that changed from purple to blue, to green, depending upon how the sunlight reflected off of it. It crawled cautiously up his arm to stop on the small tattoo that he and Claire had gotten that night many years ago. 

He was transported back to those happier days. He couldn’t help but smile at the memories that came flooding back as he watched the dragonfly’s wings softly twitch. 

“You know every time I see a dragonfly, I always think of you.” 

Startled, Jamie looked up as the dragonfly flew away. 

Claire stood behind him. 

“Hello, Jamie.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We were left with Claire showing up at the loch where Jamie was after his graduation. Now we find out what in the cornbread hell Claire was thinking all these years!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will make a note: I did actually do a bit of reading up on this subject, because I didn’t want to mess this up. Abandonment as a child and what it can do to you as you get older can really and truly mess with your brain and any relationships you develop. Her parents died when she was 5, so she doesn’t really remember them or the love they gave her. Her Uncle Lamb was busy with life and traveling, so he left (abandoned) her in boarding schools. She never had the affection she needed and deserved as a child. So as you read her explanation, you’ll see the results of some of what I found out.

He gasped. She stood before him, still wearing the red dress he saw her in earlier. She was beautiful. As he looked at her, his eye was drawn down to her ring finger. **  
**

It was bare.

She walked closer to him and answered his unasked question. “Frank and I are no longer together.” 

His eyes darted to hers and she looked off in the distance to the loch, glistening in the sun. She sat on the ground near the hammock and said, “I stopped here on my way back to Glasgow. I was feeling a bit nostalgic, you see. I never thought to see you here, though.” 

At his silence, she finally said, “You deserve an explanation. I know you likely don’t want to talk to me. I understand if you want me to leave.”

When Jamie had finally found his voice, he whispered, “Why did ye leave, Claire? Ye broke my heart. Why?”

She swallowed and took a deep breath. “I know you’ll have questions and I promise I will answer all of them, but I have to get it all out. Let me tell it all to you and then we can talk. Okay?”

He looked at her for a bit, then nodded. 

She began, “Geillis was mad at me for quite a long time. But she wouldn’t give up on me, you see. She is a therapist now, did you know that?”

Jamie shook his head.

“As the wedding grew closer, she sat me down one evening. She knew I wasn’t the ecstatic bride-to-be. I wasn’t interested in planning out the wedding. I hadn’t even chosen a dress, you see. So she wanted to know why. But she didn’t buy my bullshit answer. She dug and prodded and made me see what I had done to myself.

“My parents died when I was a child. I was sent to live with my Uncle Lamb, who was an archaeologist. He shipped me off to boarding school after boarding school so he could continue his studies across the world. What he didn’t know was that I was lonely. Terribly so. When all the other girls would go home for vacations and breaks, I would remain at the school. When others would talk about their families, I had none. I often cried myself to sleep at night.

As I grew older and boys began to notice me, they filled my need for affection. Then Frank came along. He paid attention to me. I played right into his hands, you see. He wanted someone he could control. He wanted meek and obedient. And I gave that to him to some extent. But I didn’t realize that I didn’t know what true love was because I’d never seen it or experienced it for myself. I settled for the tiny little bits that I was given, knowing that it could all be gone in a second and I’d be alone again. Unconsciously, I allowed him to treat me very poorly. Up until I met you, I didn’t know that I was worthy of more. Worthy of love and respect.”

He saw her swipe her cheek. The hardened shell that surrounded his heart began to crack.

“But you see, I was afraid. Very deeply afraid. I didn’t want to be alone again. Before I saw you the last time, Uncle Lamb had died. It was then that I truly knew I was alone in the world. He had left me plenty of money to live off of, so it wasn’t a financial fear. I was alone, well and truly. Frank used that knowledge to keep me. The big argument we had was mostly about you. He wanted me to quit going to see you. He was very angry about the tattoos. He hated the chain I wore around my neck. He was eaten up by jealousy because it was a situation out of his control. 

“I didn’t want to cut ties off with you. Besides Geillis, you were the one true friend I had in life. I feared losing the security of having you because, with you, I wasn’t lonely. And honestly, you made me feel things that Frank never, ever had. I didn’t know it at the time, but those feelings were love. I’d never known those feelings of love, other than the little snippets of memory that I had of my parents. It was a craving that I wanted. Badly. I had never intended for things to go so far with you that night, but I gave in to what I yearned for since I was 5 years old. I didn’t understand the draw to you and just couldn’t equate it with feelings of love. I had nothing to compare that to.

“When I found out that you had been the one to find Frank and his mistress together, I was afraid I’d lose both you AND Frank. I was mad that you wanted Frank out of my life because I thought I needed him. So I left and went back to Frank. He vowed to me that there would be no one else. We made up and then he proposed. I accepted.”

She paused and he handed her the whisky bottle. She took a drink. Returning it to him, she wiped her eyes again and continued after a time.

“Geillis made me realize that when you spend so much time living in the dark, you begin to fear the light. You, Jamie, were the light.”

And suddenly he understood. It all made sense, where it didn’t before. He got up from the hammock and sat on the ground beside her, taking her hand. 

Claire looked at him with tears streaming down her cheeks. “I didn’t know I was worthy of more, Jamie. My brain was just absolutely stuck on the need, the deep-seated fear within me to never be alone again.”

He wiped the tears from her cheeks. They both looked at the water rippling by and the dragonflies chasing each other about near the surface. To anyone else, the silence might be uncomfortable or awkward. But for them, that was never the case. They were comfortable with the silence in the presence of each other. 

After awhile, Claire asked, “Do you forgive me?”

Jamie looked at her, then back at the water. Eventually, he said, “Aye, I suppose I do. Ye ken ye could’ve talked to me about all this? I would’ve understood.”

Claire shook her head, furrowing her brow. “Jamie, I didn’t even realize this to speak of it. It was only at Geillis’ prodding that I understood. It all made sense then. As soon as I realized what I was doing to myself, I broke it off with Frank and left him. I’ve been on my own for some time now. Word has it, he’s about to be married to Sandy, his mistress. I knew that in order to heal, I had to learn some really tough things about myself.” 

“So. What do ye want of me, then?”

“Well, that’s entirely up to you. I want my best friend back in my life. I have been working on being alright with a solitary life. Geillis has helped me see that I’m okay being alone. I have my studies toward my doctorate. My work at the hospital. I stay busy and that helps. But I still feel this empty place in my heart. When I’m with you, that spot is full. When we’re apart, it’s hollow.”

“How specifically do ye want me then? A friend, a lover or a true relationship?”

“I’ll take you any way I can have you, Jamie. And if you don’t want me in your life, I will understand.”

Jamie picked up a peddle and tossed it in the water. Running his fingers through the thick grass, he realized that he couldn’t envision any part of his life without her in it. 

He reached for her hand and replied, “Weel, then. I suppose it’s the two of us now.”

Claire gasped on a sob and launched herself at Jamie. He enfolded her in his arms and, holding her tightly, cried with her. When he could speak again, he whispered, “Ye broke my heart when ye left that day, Claire. If it hadnae been for Ian, I don’t know where I would be now. I finally learned to exist in just a wee bit of life without ye in it. I accepted that I’d never have ye. I just wasnae ready to move on. I threw myself into studying and rugby. Exhaustion got me through the day, honestly. But ye see, like ye, I hold an empty place in my heart that is yers. To live wi’out half a heart is just no’ something I can do anymore, ye ken?”

Claire nodded. He put his finger under her chin and drew her eyes up to his. “Ye are mine, Claire. Mine. And no one else’s. Forever.

“Will ye have me, Claire?”

She threw her arms around his neck and drew him in for a kiss. “Yes!” Another kiss. “Yes! I’ll have you forever.”

It was then that the setting sun hit the sparkle of something on his neck. She looked closer and saw a chain, like hers. She drew it out of his shirt collar. It still read “Of the Line”. 

“You still wear our necklace.”

“I vowed to ye I would never take it off, Claire. I tried once. But I couldn’t do it. It was the one part of ye that I could keep with me, near to my heart always.”

She reached into her dress and pulled out her necklace. “Till the End” it read. “I never took mine off.”

He kissed her again, just like he had on that day when he showed her his heart and soul.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it! Hope you enjoyed it! I’ve never written anything angsty before so this was hard! Hope I did it justice.

**_One year later, Lallybroch  
_ **

Jamie stood before the full-length mirror at Lallybroch and looked himself over. He smoothed out an invisible crease in his coat and tugged at the cuffs of his shirt. He reached into his sporran and pulled out a box. Opening it, he examined the set of matching bands. He chose the simple set as he felt it would suit them best, as they were both doctors. Pulling out both bands, he tipped them, looking at the new engravings he had had done to the inside of them. 

He smiled. They would definitely suit them. 

A soft knock on the door brought in his best mate and brother-in-law, Ian. “It’s time. Are ye ready?”

“I’ve been ready since the first moment I laid eyes on her.” 

Ian laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. “Weel, let’s get on wi’ it, then!”

Jamie handed the rings to Ian. They went outside, taking their places at the front of the altar that was set out on the grounds of Lallybroch. His mam and sister Jenny had done a wonderful job decorating for the wedding and the reception to be held afterwards. He and Claire had tried many times to help, but were told in no uncertain terms to leave them to their work. 

When the music began, Ian elbowed him and gave a nudge of his head behind them. Jamie turned around and the vision that met his eyes stunned him. Tears filled his eyes.

Claire stood at the end of the aisle. His Da had offered to walk her down the aisle and Claire had tearfully accepted. She was a vision. His eyes couldn’t take it all in at once. She wore a white satin gown that hugged her perfect figure. Draped over her shoulder was a length of plaid that matched the kilt Jamie wore. The Fraser colors. She held a bouquet of flowers that she had picked herself from the grounds of Lallybroch. Tucked away in the bouquet was a dragonfly pin that she found in a shop. She was beautiful. He wanted to emblazon this image on his brain so he could always remember her just this way. 

As she reached him and his Da passed her off to him with a hug to both of them, they faced each other, joining hands. Claire whispered, “Hello there.”

Jamie smiled, “Hello _mo nighean donn_.”

The priest said the mass and they exchanged vows. Before Jamie slid the band on her finger, he showed her the engraving inside and said, “Till the end of the line.”

She smiled through the tears that spilled over onto her cheeks. “Oh, Jamie,” she whispered, touched to her very soul that he had thought to add that to her ring. 

As she took his band, she noticed the same engraving on his ring. Sliding the ring onto his finger, she said, “Till the end of the line.”

As the priest pronounced them man and wife, they were already kissing, much to the delight and cheers of their friends and family in attendance. 

**********

Much later, as Claire was speaking to her bridesmaid, Geillis, at the entrance to the wedding marquee, she felt a hand that grasped onto her arm and yanked her outside the tent. She squealed and soon found herself enclosed in her husband’s arms being kissed thoroughly. 

“Oy there! Get a room!” Rupert and Angus had taken great joy in yelling, followed by several other ribald replies. Jamie leaned over and picked up his bride and carried her off to their honeymoon cottage nearby. Judging from the cheers, whistles and wolf calls coming from the crowd, they all knew that the bride and groom were departing the festivities for the night.

**********

Jamie sat nervously on the bed awaiting his wife, who was changing. He had removed all his clothes, except his kilt upon stern instructions from his wife. He, in turn, demanded that the garters and sheerest of stockings that he had discovered during a quick snog session in a dark corner of the house, before they were discovered, remain as well.

Hearing the door open, he gasped when he saw Claire standing there. She leaned on the doorway, with an arm casually thrown above her head on the door frame. 

She wore a white corset with a matching thong and garters holding up the sheer stockings. The high heels she wore lengthened her already long legs. Her breasts threatened to spill over the bodice of the corset. 

He was rendered speechless. 

She straightened and walked slowly, seductively toward him. She stopped and turned around before him. “Cat got your tongue, eh?”

He stood up and pulled her to him. “No, I believe ye do.”

And he kissed her. Their tongues tangled and danced, as their hands roamed. They had worked themselves into quite the desperate state through the course of the evening, teasing each other as they danced; stealing kisses in dark corners; doing a wee bit of heavy petting off in the trees. 

Breathlessly, Jamie said, “Claire, I…I dinnae think I can go slowly wi’ ye like ye deserve this first time.”

Just as breathless, “Then don’t. And don’t you dare be gentle about it.”

He slid his hands from her hips, around to her bare arse and squeezed, a wayward finger exploring. Sliding them back to her hips, he hooked his fingers under the straps and slid them slowly down to the floor. He reached up and removed the pins holding her hair up and dropped them to the floor with a ping, one by one. Sliding a finger down her cheek, her neck and her chest, he traced the outline of the cups of her corset. He slid a finger in one cup and pulled it down, exposing one breast. Then did the same to the other. 

“Just like this. This is how I want ye the first time.”

Her heaving breasts being pushed up over the top of the corset nearly undid him on the spot. He took a step back and looked at her with the glow of the moonlight streaming in the windows, illuminating her with an unearthly glow. 

She stepped closer to him and went to the floor. “You wouldn’t let me look before. I mean to find out just exactly what a Scot wears underneath his kilt.” 

She put her hands on his knees and slid her hands up at a maddeningly slow pace. She had had her nails done, so the added slide of her long fingernails against his skin added another dimension that he wasn’t used to feeling. He felt his cock twitch under his kilt as she got closer.

“Ahhh. Well then. It seems to be true. A right proper Scotsman.”

Jamie would have replied something…anything…but he couldn’t. She had her red lips around his cock, teasing him; her fingernails sliding slowly along his balls. 

“ _Mo chridhe_! Stop! I cannae…” He gently tugged her up by the hair and brought her lips to his.

He kissed her once more then scooped her up and laid her on their bed. 

“Open yer legs for me.” She dragged her high heels that she still wore across the bed and arched her back. He quickly dropped his kilt to the floor then crawled up toward her from the foot of the bed, his eyes wild and predatory. His chest was heaving as if he’d been running. As he reached the apex of her thighs, he couldn’t resist the pull to bow down and lick her core. 

The sound she made was a sound he vowed to hear over and over again for a lifetime. He lifted both her legs and entered her with a single thrust. His deep, low growl outdid her “ahhhhh” as he slammed into her. He held her tightly to him as his lips lowered to her nipple and sucked. He felt her inner muscles squeeze him and he pulled off her nipple, arching his back and neck sharply. He was so close.

“Cl…Claire…please, I…now! Come with me now!”

She whispered a breathless, “Yessss.”

That’s all he needed. He plunged into her and she met his every thrust, her inner muscles gripping him tighter and tighter. His balls drew up tight to his body and she gripped his arse, her nails digging in leaving marks. They ground together as they came together and exploded with shouts of ecstasy that neither held back.

They clung together until their breathing resumed a normal pace. 

She whispered, “I love you.”

“I love ye, too. Forever.”

“Forever.”

As he lay holding her, he remembered when he first set eyes on her. His first thought of her was that she was worth the broken heart.

She was indeed.


End file.
